Mentor or Mentee Questions - You Make the Call

I wrote an article in my newsletter, Unleash Your Potential this week titled Finding Mentors in Your Memory. In it I suggested some questions that you could ask yourself when considering the perspective of someone you admired, but could no longer talk to directly.

In response, a colleague and friend sent me an email, which reads in part:

You may remember that both my wife & myself are cancer survivors. Just two weeks ago Sharon & I "signed up" to volunteer with the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's First Connection project, an early-support program for the spouses and families of newly diagnosed blood cancer and lymphoma patients. The program's primary mission is to offer Hope to the people around the patient who was just given what most of us perceive as devastating news.

We've been through a full day's training and, even though we've yet to make our first contact, I'm confident we know the right - and wrong - words.

When I read the "In Kevin's Own Words" column about mentors this morning, my mind immediately went to First Connection. While our contact with these spouses and families should not, ideally, turn into long-term relationships, we will serve a mentor-like role for a short time and your questions, when turned to us, seem important, i.e.:

- What did they (Dave & Sharon) do? We've been through the "similar situation" and we're still-living examples that Hope thrives.
- What would they (Dave & Sharon) do? We can testify to the good that may wait for a seized opportunity, helping them consider their situation from the perspective of our experience.
- What would they (Dave & Sharon) say? Having the imaginary conversation is a terrific idea. There are a million questions, and we know most of 'em.
- What can I (the spouse/patient) learn from who they (Dave & Sharon) were (are)? Hopefully they can pick up on the fact that we're a couple of pretty ordinary folks who, for some reason, have been given extraordinary experience, the lessons from which are active involvement in the loved-one's care and the importance of faith, family, friends, and Hope.

When you read my initial article you will see that I was thinking about the questions from the mentee's perspective. Dave (who other than using first names asked to remain anonymous) expanded the questions to be valuable to a mentor. And in the case of this First Connection project, to a peer-to-peer situation as well.

I'm more convinced than ever that these questions can be a valuable addition to your toolkit - both as a mentor and a mentee

Thanks Dave.

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