I read a post this morning about Great Teaching in the Ten Minutes to Better Teaching Blog.

It is written from a Christian perspective discussing Jesus as a teacher and what can be learned from him. Here is the portion of the post:

...
Teach with Passion- Care about what you're teaching and pass that passion on to your students.
Teach with Style- Entertain and engage the students in your class, Get to know your students as individuals and let them know their learning is important to you.
Be Flexible- Sometimes you teach where you are, not where you (or others) think you should be. Use the situations around you to help create your lessons.
Be the "Master Communicator"- Explain, listen, question, visualize. Tell stories, sing songs, create a dialog. Use whatever works to reach your students.
Develop your students- reach them on their level and then be caring, nurturing, and even forceful as necessary. Enrich their minds and their spirits.
Teach with Authority- Keep on top of your field and practice your craft. Bridge the gap between theory and practice. Lead by example.
Be the Embodiment of Truth- Your students will follow you; lead them wisely.
...

I share this with you because I believe this list of attributes is powerful regardless of your spiritual beliefs. If you are a classroom teacher or trainer, the application is immediate and obvious. Beyond those roles though, each of these attributes can make us a better leader or member of a team, not to mention a better person and parent.


Also posted in Leadership, Learning, Teamwork and Training.

Digg it | del.icio.us | Add to Technorati

On December 19th I started posting a series of questions on this blog designed to help you gain more and learn more from 2005 and set you up for an amazing 2006.

We would have ended with #13 today, but on Christmas Day I added an additional question. Because of that, today, New Year's Eve leaves us with two questions.

If you haven't been following along, here are the first twelve questions:

1. What did I learn this year?
2. What did I accomplish this year?
3. Which accomplishments am I proudest of?
4. Knowing what I know now, what would I have done differently in the past year?
5. What will be my greatest lasting memories of this year?
6. In what ways did I contribute?
7. What were my biggest challenges or obstacles?
8. What obstacles did I overcome?
9. Who are the most interesting people I met?
10. How have they changed my life?
11. How am I different now than I was at the start of the year?
12. What am I most grateful for?

Here is question 13. . .

What else do I want to reflect on?

This last question is yours. You’ll know, whether you have been asking yourself a question a day or are reading this list of questions for the first time right now, what the other question for you is.

Quiet your mind.

Listen to your intuition.

Listen to the question, and answer it.

I hope you have enjoyed this 13 question exercise as much as I have enjoyed doing it and posting it here for you.

Because of the nature of blogs, you may be reading this on any day in any year, not just today, December 31, 2005. When you read it doesn't matter that much. While I crafted these questions to be used at the end of the year, they can be asked at any time considering any time horizon. So feel free to take these questions and use them again and again, whenever you want to use powerful reflection to help you catapult your learning forward.

Happy New Year!

I looking forward to 2006 and sharing my thoughts and ideas with you throughout the New Year.

Also posted in Creativity, Leadership, Learning and Training.

Digg it | del.icio.us | Add to Technorati

New Year's Eve 2005.

I don't know what traditions you have for New Year's Eve, but I always find some time to be introspective, even if I have company in my home, am traveling or whatever my situation for the day. It is my hope that you have been getting used to being introspective over the last couple of weeks as you have been answering my 13 questions.

Today this series comes to an end with the final two questions. Here is #12:

What am I most grateful for?

Perhaps 2005 has been a tough year for our world in many ways, with tsunamis hurricanes and earthquakes. Yet we all have much to be grateful for and pondering (and writing) about this question can help you finish your year with a spirit of gratefulness.

Your answer(s) here may be a recap of some of your other answers to the previous 11 questions and if so, that is OK. It also might help you highlight something you hadn't yet thought about.

Gratefulness is a powerful emotion - one that can open us up for many future blessings and events. Make the time today to ask this question and be grateful.

Also posted in Creativity, Leadership, Learning and Training.

Digg it | del.icio.us | Add to Technorati

Happy New Year's Eve Eve!

Just three questions left in our 13 Questions to Ask Before Year End series. Here is #11:


How am I different now than I was at the start of the year?


This is such a powerful question that I get goosebumps when I read it or think about it. Take some real time to ponder this one and write your responses down. Like the other questions in this series you may still be thinking about it several days from now!

Many of the first ten questions are meant to help answer this one in meaningful ways, so if you have been journaling your responses to the other ten questions (you have, haven't you?) then reading back over your thoughts of the last few days will definitely help you think about this question.

Tomorrow is New Year's Eve, and I'll give you your last two questions then, as promised.

Also posted in Creativity, Leadership, Learning and Training.

Digg it | del.icio.us | Add to Technorati

Lots of posts on lots of blogs will be written about new year's resolutions over the next few days.

Don't worry, I'm not going to tell you mine, or promise to update you on the progress of my weight loss or exercise regimen over the coming days and weeks. :)

In fact I wasn't going to write about this topic at all until I read of the study Accountemps recently did.

According to their press release they used an independent agency to ask executives "If you were to make a career-related New Year's resolution, what would it be?" The responses of 150 executives are:

Acquire a new skill 31%
Spend less time at work 19%
Improve relationship with boss/coworkers 13%
Make a career change 7%
Earn a promotion 6%
Earn a raise 3%
Other 9%
Don't know 12%

Perhaps your resolution or goal falls into one or more of these categories.

My guess is that their answers aren't drastically different than most other groups would be.

I'm heartened that at least 44% of them would like to do something we could help them with (learn a new skill or improve relationships at work), and I'm pleased that learning plays such a prominent role on the list.

Notice too that while most of us would like more money and a promotion, those aren't the top items on the list. In fact, paradoxically, the best way to get the raise or promotion is to acquire new skills and improve working relationships!

Also posted in Leadership, Learning, Teamwork and Training.

Digg it | del.icio.us | Add to Technorati

Only three more days until we turn the calendar to 2006... and in those three days I will give you the last four of the 13 questions to ask yourself before year end. Today's is a follow-up to yesterday's where I asked "Who are the most interesting people I have met?"


How have they changed my life?


It is great to meet interesting people. This question helps you think about how those people have impacted you. Think about what you learned from them, how they have helped you, the enjoyment and pleasure you have gained from knowing them.

If you have time after thinking and writing about this, take time to send a note, an email or give a call to these people and thank them. If you don't have time now, make that a task on your list for the first week of the new year.

Three more questions to go!

Also posted in Creativity, Leadership, Learning and Training.

Digg it | del.icio.us | Add to Technorati

Today's question is a fun one to think about, so I'll get right to it.

Who are the most interesting people I met?

When you think back on your year, think about the people that you have met. Some of these people will stand out in your memory as the most interesting.

Make a list of these people - include them whether they have become a friend or you met them only once. The criteria here is interesting. After you have completed your list, reflect on the circumstances under which you met these people. This may give you a clue about what types of situations you want to consciously create in the future.

Come back tomorrow for our next question.

Also posted in Creativity, Leadership, Learning and Training.

Digg it | del.icio.us | Add to Technorati

We are past halfway in our list of 13 questions to ask before year end. Today's is a follow-up to yesterday's and has a follow-up of it's own.

What obstacles did I overcome?

And how did I do it?

These are certainly things to be proud of so you might already have them on your list of accomplishments. If so, that fine, just write them down again.

The follow-up question is what makes this question different from accomplishments. It is one thing to overcome an obstacle... it is at least as important to reflect back and figure out how you do that, so you can learn from it for future obstacle-busting.

The goal here is to raise your confidence that you can in fact, overcome obstacles and to learn how to overcome, and even better, perhaps avoid similar obstacles in the future.

Tomorrow I'll bring you question 9.

Also posted in Creativity, Leadership, Learning and Training.

Digg it | del.icio.us | Add to Technorati

We're back to my planned set of 13 questions to ask before year end, after a one day bonus yesterday. Today's question takes a little different focus from those we have asked so far, but it is an extremely valuable one:

What were my biggest challenges or obstacles?

Thinking about our challenges and obstacles is important. It is in our challenges and obstacles, whether we are stopped by them or we overcome them, that we have much to learn. Perhaps these challenges were faced several months ago, are ongoing, or perhaps you have just recently encountered them. Identifying them is one step towards overcoming them and certainly will help us learn from them.

For today, just make a list of these challenges or obstacles, whether big or small. We will work with this list in tomorrow's question.

Also posted in Creativity, Leadership, Learning and Training.

Digg it | del.icio.us | Add to Technorati

When I started this series of questions, I calculated what day to begin, to complete all 13 questions on December 31st. While my math was right, my timing wasn't. As I look at the next question, it is an important and valuable one, but not one for Christmas Day for those who celebrate.

So I am modifying my plan, not to give you "a day off" for Christmas, but to ask a different question - one not in my initial list.

What is my favorite Christmas memory?

Spend some time thinking abut this, and if you have a houseful of guests ask them all to do the same. After people have had a chance to think about this, encourage them to share those memories with each other. The conversation that will follow may create a new favorite Christmas memory for you.

If you don't celebrate Christmas, I encourage you to modify this question to: "What is my favorite holiday memory?" The value, smiles and good feelings will be the same!

I'll get back to the initially planned set of questions on Monday.

For now, Merry Christmas!

Also posted in Creativity, Leadership, Learning and Training.

Digg it | del.icio.us | Add to Technorati

Happy Christmas Eve!

Today's question is an uplifting and positive one, suitable for this day. Since I am sure this is a busy day for you, let me get right to it:

In what ways did I contribute?

We all contribute in many ways. If you don't think you do, remember the story of It's a Wonderful Life (it's on NBC tonight if you haven't seen it in awhile).

Specifically think about the people you helped and the ways in which you made your workplace, your neighborhood, your community and your world a better place to be. Think about how you have contributed to the lives of those you care about or who you have helped directly or indirectly.


Also posted in Creativity, Leadership, Learning and Training.

Digg it | del.icio.us | Add to Technorati

Two more shopping days until Christmas, and time for another one of my 13 year end questions.

Here is today's:

What will be my greatest lasting memories of this year?

You've made some memories in the past year. You may have some photos of the event, you may have a program or a letter or a ticket or some other token to commemorate or help you remember the event.

Or you may not.

Consider today's question to be a way to make entries in your memory scrapbook.

Mentally go through the year and think of those moments in time that you want to capture forever. Put them on a list. While you can make your list as long as you'd like, get at least three memories written down.

If you have time to reflect on the lessons and meanings of these memories, that is great, but the question today doesn't require that - it simply encourages to capture the memories on paper and in your mind.

Come back tomorrow for question #6.

Also posted in Creativity, Leadership, Learning and Training.

Digg it | del.icio.us | Add to Technorati

Here is today's question. (Read HERE if you missed the post that started this list.)

Knowing what I know now, what would I have done differently in the past year?

This is a very powerful question to help learn from the activities of the past year. (Of course you can ask it for any time period if you wish).

Please don't use this question to allow yourself to feel bad, guilty or to in any way get upset with yourself about what did happen. The key is in the first half of the question "knowing what you know now." You are a different person now having had the experience. The goal here is to view the experience through the lens of your experience (which is why people nod in agreement with the old cliche "hindsight is 20/20"). Regardless of what did happen, this question will help us learn from the situation.

You will likely think of some successes in your year (see questions 2 and 3) and they are also great fodder for this question. After all, even though you accomplished something you are proud of, there may still be things you would have done differently.

So there it is...

Knowing what I know now, what would I have done differently in the past year?

See you tomorrow!

Also posted in Creativity, Leadership, Learning and Training.

Digg it | del.icio.us | Add to Technorati

It's Wednesday December 21, the first day of winter, there is only 4 shopping days until Christmas and it is time for Question #3 in my 13 Questions to Ask Before Year End.

Today's question is a follow-up to yesterday's, so while it will be most effective if you have answered Question 2, you can answer it alone...


Which accomplishments am I proudest of?


If you did the question yesterday, this is a process of looking at your list and identifying the 3-4 things that make you most proud. If you haven't made this longer list, think about the moments, experiences, and accomplishments of the past year that made you the most proud. Write them down. Don't worry that you may come up with 8 or 10. Once you have thought of your list, circle or highlight the top few.

Now you have a list of the accomplishments that bring you the most pride. This is an important list! Not as a reason to brag or boast, in fact, you don't need to share this list with anyone. Now take the time to read the items again. Allow yourself to feel proud - you deserve it! Finish this exercise by thinking and making notes about why you are proud of these things.

Tomorrow I'll bring you Question 4.

Also posted in Creativity, Leadership, Learning, and Training.

Digg it | del.icio.us | Add to Technorati

Time for today's question in our ongoing series of questions to ask yourself before the end of the year. (Read the first post here for the details)

What did I accomplish this year?

Make a list of the things you accomplished. Perhaps you accomplished big things... got promoted, won an award, gave a speech, or conquered a fear.

Write them all down.

But beyond these big things you accomplished hundreds of little things ... became more patient with a Customer, finally finished War and Peace (ok, maybe that would be a big one), changed a personal habit, you get the idea.

Write these all down too.

To properly answer this question it will take some time. Use the time you scheduled for yourself, but don't stop by the clock. Allow your mind to continue to work on this important question and you will find yourself adding to the list throughout the day.

By reflecting on your accomplishments you are reinforcing past success, building your confidence, and telling your subconscious that you can accomplish even more. Building this list will be fun and affirming.

Once you've written the list, keep it. It will become a great attitude lifter to read anytime you are feeling discouraged or down at all.

Come by tomorrow for Question #3.

Also posted in Creativity, Leadership, Learning, and Training.

Digg it | del.icio.us | Add to Technorati

Tom Peters got me thinking (this isn't anything new) in a post called Stuff. Way down at the bottom of the post is a the following . . .

ALL THERE IS. Damn it! I keep forgetting this! Leaving it out of presentations! Namely, a PP slide that simply reads : You = Your Calendar. THIS IS MY #1 BELIEF ABOUT MANAGEMENT. Or: "You can't bullshit your calendar." Or: "Your calendar knows ... do you?" All we have is our time. The way we distribute it is our "strategic plan," our "vision," our "values." Period. So how'd you spend your precious time today? Tell me, and I'll tell you what you actually care about—it's simple and unerring.

So, Tom's question is. . . "How did you spend your precious time today?"

And my corollary is . . . What does your calendar tell you about what is important to you?

. . . and . . .

Have you scheduled time in that calendar to answer your Question of the Day?

Also posted in Leadership, Learning and Training.

Digg it | del.icio.us | Add to Technorati

There are 13 more days in 2006. So, for each of the next 13 days I am going to propose a question for you to ponder and reflect on. Actually, I encourage you to do more than that - I encourage you to write your answers down, in a journal (if you keep one), notebook, or in a file on your computer (though I think physically writing will be better).

I encourage you to return here each day and schedule 15-30 minutes with yourself to do this 13 day exercise. If you are impatient, or want to work ahead, you can find the full list of Top Thirteen End-of-the-Year Questions published HERE.

Here is today's question....


What did I learn this year?


Hopefully your first answer is... A LOT! Think about the specific skills you learned, life lessons you absorbed, and the knowledge you gained.

This will still be a long list, so after some initial brainstorming, take time narrow your list with a highlighter or using some other notation (don't cross items off!) to the 5 most valuable, important or beneficial things.

All of the questions you will read here over the next 13 days will add up to a fabulous learning review of the past year. I encourage you to get started.

Also posted in Creativity, Leadership, Learning, and Training.

Digg it | del.icio.us | Add to Technorati

If you've read this blog for long, you will probably know why I was drawn to the story that follows.

Please read it, reflect on it for yourself, and then read my closing comments.

Thanks to Cynthia Kersey for allowing me to reprint this from her newsletter, Unstoppable Insights.

.....
Love Letters

Copyright 2005 by Cynthia Kersey


In November 1980, Linda's eight-year-old son, Andy, was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. After he returned home from his first hospital stay, he was welcomed with dozens of cards and letters from friends and relatives.

"No matter how bad he felt before the mailman arrived," Linda remembered, "he always felt better afterward." Inevitably, however, the flood of cards and letters tapered off. So did Andy's cheerful spirit. Concerned, Linda mailed him a note she wrote herself and signed it "Your secret pal." Andy perked up. After that, Linda never let a day go by without putting another cheerful message in the mail for her little boy.

After sending Andy letters for nearly a month, Linda found him one day drawing a picture of two unicorns. It was for his "secret pal," he said. After putting Andy to bed that night, Linda picked up the drawing. At the bottom, he had written "P.S. Mom, I love you."

He had known all along who was sending him the letters! But that didn't matter--what mattered was that they made him happy and lifted his spirits. Andy's precious life ended less than four years later; he died on August 31, 1984.

"Although I had two other wonderful children," Linda remembered, "the grief and pain of losing Andy was unbearable. I felt my life was over because his was over." Sorting through her son's belongings, she found a shoebox in his closet. Inside the box was his address book listing all the friends he'd made at a "cancer camp" not long before he died. The address book gave Linda the idea that Andy would have liked her to be a "secret pal" to his sick friends the way she'd been to him.

She decided to send one card to each child in Andy's book. Before she'd gotten through the list, one twelve-year-old boy wrote to thank her. In his letter he told her, "I didn't think anyone knew I was alive." Those words made Linda realize someone else was hurting besides herself. She cried bitterly, not for herself or for Andy this time, but for the lonely, scared child who needed to know someone cared.

Just after responding to that boy's letter, she received a similar note from another child on Andy's list. That was it. She had found her calling, a purpose that gave passion and meaning to her life. She vowed then to write to any child who needed her until they stopped writing her back.

Her cards and letters were brief, positive, and always personalized. The children responded continually and their parents did too, each thanking her for renewing life in their child. Linda got friends and neighbors to help with her mission, and an organization of letter writers began to form.

Today, over ten years after Linda wrote her first letter to a child she'd never met, Love Letters, Inc., sends out more than 60,000 pieces of mail a year. Thirty-five volunteers collectively contribute 400 hours for each weekly mailing. Working out of temporary, donated space, the group survives from week to week on donations of stamps, money, and office supplies from the community and groups like the Rotary Club and Junior Chamber of Commerce.

In addition to sending letters to 1,100 kids every week, it sends an additional 90 to 110 birthday gifts each month. For children going through a particularly difficult period, Love Letters makes sure something arrives in the mail every single day. Every year, Love Letters loses some 200 children who have gotten better or passed away. Sadly, Love Letters always has new names to add to its mailing list.

The demand is so great, and Linda's resources are so small. No mailing has ever gone out without concern for where the money for the postage or production work is coming from.

Love Letters has applied to more than forty corporations for grants and donations. Every application has been turned down. Yet Love Letters has never missed a mailing. The children mean too much to Linda and her thirty-five volunteers. Somehow people always come through--with a bake sale, a T-shirt sale, or just by reaching into their pockets.

Linda personally puts in seventy to eighty hours a week to keep Love Letters going. When weariness threatens to overcome her, the telephone rings--it's another child or parent calling to say how important the program is.

"It rejuvenates me," she said, "because I have experienced firsthand the power of a love letter in healing the soul."

As much as she gives, Linda Bremner receives more in return: a reason for living, a vehicle for loving, a sense of purpose.

Excerpted/Adapted from Unstoppable (Sourcebooks, $14.95)
Copyright 1998 by Cynthia Kersey
www.unstoppable.net

Digg it | del.icio.us | Add to Technorati

My family and I are blessed to get many Christmas cards each year. Each year I seem to get more and more from business associates and clients as well. Yesterday I got the one I'll remember longest this year (in part, I suppose because I'm not writing about it.)

It is a simple little card that reads "Have a Merry Little Christmas." The first thing I noticed was a single $.37 stamp enclosed. My immediate confusion was eliminated when I read the note inscribed.

"Do you know how to instantly brighten your holiday season? Follow my lead; share your light with others! Start by taking the time to send someone a personal note. Include a stamp and tell them to pass on their light... our community will be brighter than ever in no time!"

While I have already written my note, I decided that posting this was a way to brighten the community even further.

I can't give you $.37 through the internet, but there are other ways to do your brightening (though it is hard to beat the written note!)

- Walk up to someone's desk and thank them for something you appreciate (and ask them to pass it on).
- Send a personal email instead of a note (and ask them to pass it on).
- Give a copy of your favorite book to someone (and ask them to do the same).

Or, do one of these actions several times (which I'm sure Victoria, who sent the card to me did).

This was truly an ingenious note which reminds of two truths that we may forget in our daily lives:

1. We gain when we give, even though that isn't why we are doing it.
2. Small actions can start change, when we multiply our actions by influencing others.

These are lessons worth remembering, regardless of the roles you play in life, whether as a leader, coach, trainer, team member, neighbor or parent. You can apply both my suggestion and these truths in all parts of your life, and there is no reason not to.

Pass it on.

Share your light.

It will make a difference.

(Thanks Victoria)

Also posted in Creativity, Leadership and Learning.

Digg it | del.icio.us | Add to Technorati

In this post, I'll conclude my interview with Bob Burg. I hope you have enjoyed it. I'll probably do more of these kinds of things with people in the future!

You are a huge believer in testimonial endorsements Bob. Why?

There's simply no doubt about it that third-party credibility carries much more weight than anything we might say about ourselves. After all, if we say it, it's selling; if a third-party says it, it's true. To me, third party credibility via endorsements can best be summed up by the great copywriter, Joe Polish, who wrote, "What others say about you is infinitely more believable than what you say about you . . . so let others say it." Of course, getting the endorsement and having it written correctly so that it positions you perfectly in the minds of your prospects is not always easy so we dedicate a portion of Chapter 12 just to that.


There are many good networking books on the market... how do you see this one as different?

I think there are some GREAT networking books on the market today. I find I learn something excellent from each one of them. I think what perhaps makes mine different - not necessarily better; just different - is that I get very much into an A-Z type of systemization that clearly defines a purpose and end result, and that is continual, endless, top-quality prospects.


What were the reasons for creating a new edition of Endless Referrals, and why should those who may have the original want to get a new copy?


Really, the reasoning was strictly utilitarian; after six years since the previous revised edition, a new one was necessary. While the principles and fundamentals remain the same (as Jim Rohn says, "beware the person who offers you 'new fundamentals'"), technology changed, certain processes changed and, along with that, we've added a good 30-35 percent new information to the book. We've gotten some terrific feedback already from people who read the previous edition and couldn't believe how much was added to this one.

......

Thanks so much Bob for sharing your time and expertise with me and everyone who reads my blog.

I couldn't agree with Bob's last point more. If you don't have a copy of Endless Referrals, I hope this interview will convince you to get a copy. And if you do have copy - if it isn't the Third Edition, time to buy again!

Digg it | del.icio.us | Add to Technorati

Hope you are enjoying my interview with Bob Burg. Here is some more of it.

To most people, follow-up is a great big pain, and not always worth the results. Do you agree with either or both points?


Like anything else, follow-up can be both a royal pain, and not worth the effort . . . IF you're doing it incorrectly. In the Endless Referrals System® we teach a follow-up method that, time after time, will predictably position you as the one person your prospect/referral source will think of whenever your product or service is needed, either by them or by someone they learn about. Once you have it in place, it'll be like clockwork and for just moments a day will pay off in huge dividends.

So, what are some simply, easy-to-apply and profitable follow-up methods?

Let's take a look at just one idea that will get anyone started in the positioning process. It's sending a personalized, handwriten notecard. I know, simple, right? Please follow along. This will make a huge difference in your business.

First, hand-write it on an 8 1/2 x 3 1/2 (fits nicely inside a #10 envelope) notecard. This notecard has some brief contact information as well as a small, professional picture of yourself and a very brief "benefit statement" across the very bottom. It is not a direct response piece, but simply a thank you note.

(For a downloadable sample, just send a blank email to notecard@burg.com and one will automatically be sent right back to you that you can use as a model.)

Written in blue ink (blue ink has been proven to be more effective than black ink), it reads: "Hi Mary, it was a pleasure meeting you. If I can ever refer business your way, I certainly will." Then sign your name. Please do not include your business card or make any reference to what you do.

You might ask, "Why do I need to include my picture?" Remember the saying, "out of sight, out of mind?" Let's face it; regardless of how quickly you elicited their good feelings toward you, the minute the event is over, they leave to their own challenges, meet other people, handle different situations, etc. You want to give them every opportunity to remember you - and picture you - as the person who made them feel good about themselves both by the questions you asked them (remember, "Feel-Good" Questions®) as well as introducing them to others and so forth. As such, a small, classy, professional picture will go a long way towards this end.

In most communities you can mail this letter before midnight and it will arrive at its intended location the very next day. A letter that shows up at the person's desk or home, personalized, handwritten with blue ink, with your picture on it, the very day after you meet is a nice touch.

"But what about e-mail? Can't I just send an e-mail note?" Well, of course, you can do anything you want. However, if you truly desire to separate yourself from the masses, then make your first personal note of the "paper-and-ink" variety. This has always set the top producers apart. Even more so now that e-mail has taken such strong hold of our mode of communications! After that, e-mail is an excellent idea, when appropriate.

However, realize, there is little that can rival the emotional feeling in someone of receiving a personal, hand-written note of thanks from someone they just met. And, when you do it on the setup suggested above it is even that much more effective.

In fact, let's look at what you've done. You've shown (again) that you have a lot of class, and (again) that you are conscientious. You’ve shown (again) that you are a person worthy of doing business with directly or having business referred to.

And just as important, here's what you didn't do: You didn't come on strong or try to hard-sell. You simply thanked the person for meeting. We all like to be thanked, don't we? And you also let this person know (once again) that you have her best interests in mind with the promise to make an effort to send business her way.

Although my cards don't look quite like yours Bob, I couldn't agree more with the practice of immediate, brief hand written thank you notes. This habit has had a real impact on my business.

Earlier you talked about being a "Center of Influence." What would you say is the best way to position oneself as a true "Center of Influence?"

Plain and simply, by giving and connecting. Always ask yourself what you can do in order to add "increase" to the lives of those within your network, both new and old. Refer business, suggest good books or magazine articles, supply information that can help them to help their child who is a soccer player, introduce people to one another who might be good for each others' business, and lots, lots more. The more you do this, the more people will see you as a great connector; a true Center of Influence.

All of Bob's advice will help you become a Center of Influence. And there is more yet to this interview - coming tomorrow.

Digg it | del.icio.us | Add to Technorati

Last week I created a new e-book called 101 Ways to Learn More in 2006. I created it to be a part of our special Christmas Bundle for giving Vantagepoints on Learning and Life as a gift.

But I've decided to offer it to you my blog readers too, because, well, I appreciate all of you!

Here are 3 of the 101 ways you can learn more...

11. Learn to say "thank you" in a new language.

32. Stop and do nothing but think for one hour.

76. Watch a movie you don't think you will like.

Pick one of these things to do today and then get your copy of the e-book.

Also posted in Creativity, Learning and Training.

Digg it | del.icio.us | Add to Technorati

Yesterday I started an interview with Bob Burg, author of Endless Referrals - now in it's 3rd Edition.

(By the way, Bob's email to me in response to me calling him a Networking Rock Star was to ask if that meant he might expect groupies... I decided I wouldn't touch that one!)

A buzzword or buzz-term we associate with Networking is "Working a Room" or "Working a crowd." Doesn't one have to be pretty slick and self-confident to do that, or can anyone do this effectively?

Many people feel they are not good at "working a crowd" because they are not (in their opinion), great conversationalists. Why? Because they don't have the "gift of gab." They're surprised when I tell them that's the very reason they are potentially the best at working a crowd or room full of people. You see, great conversationalists tend to listen much more than talk. And, they ask questions that get the other person talking about that which they find most interesting. Namely, themselves! Have you ever been in a conversation where the other person let you talk all about yourself? Didn't you come away thinking, "Wow, what a fascinating conversationalist that person is!" In my book, Endless Referrals, I discuss certain types of questions, very specific questions, that will help you to effectively begin the rapport-building process.

By the way, one excellent way of positioning yourself as a true Center of Influence is, after you meet several people, introduce them to each other, tell a bit about them, and suggest ways they might be able to benefit one another. Very little talking; lots of great positioning. Please don't worry about being slick; and, you're self-confidence will grow as you begin to apply these principles.

Since you brought up questions, you've developed something you call, "Feel-Good" Questions®. What do you mean by that?

Feel-Good Questions® are questions designed to put the person with whom you are speaking at ease, and begin the rapport-building process. They are not "prospecty", personal or intrusive. They are simply questions that – by their very nature – will make the other person feel good; about themselves, about the conversation, and about you.

Feel-good Questions® are the first step toward accomplishing the all-important "know you, like you, trust you" feelings toward you in the other person. Again, the key point is that these questions will not come off as invasive or intrusive.

Although I have ten "Feel-Good" type questions please know you'll never ask all ten in any one conversation. Typically, no more than two or three is best. Still, they are all good to know depending upon the person and situation. Let's look at just two. If you ask only these two questions you'll find a remarkable difference in the response you get from this person as opposed to others in conversations where you spoke mostly about yourself and your business.

1. "How did you get started in the 'widget' business?" I call this the "Movie-of-the-Week" question because most people love the opportunity to "tell their story" to someone. This, in a world where most people don't care enough to want to know their story. Be sure and actively listen, and be interested.

2. "What do you enjoy most about what you do?" Again, something very positive to associate with you and your conversation. And, a nice rapport has begun to be established. Only now is it time for "The One *Key* Question", which we’ll get to next.

What about the question you call, "The One *Key* Question?" What is it, and why is it so significant?

"How can I know if someone I speaking with would be a good prospect for you?"

Why is this question so powerful? First, just by asking it you've separated yourself from practically everyone else. It’s the first indication that you are someone special. You are probably the only person he has ever met who asked him this question during the first conversation. Or, perhaps during any conversation . . . ever

You have also just implied that you are concerned with their welfare and wish to contribute to their success. Most people would already be trying to sell their own product or service, but not you.

You can be sure your new prospect/future referral source will have an answer. Let's say you ask this question to Gary, who sells copying machines. After thinking about it for a moment (after all, he's surprised by the very question), he suggests the next time you walk by a copying machine and notice that the accompanying wastepaper basket is overflowing with tons of crumpled-up pieces of paper, that that's a good sign the copying machine has been breaking down a lot. He says, "That's a good prospect for me."

People you meet from now on will be glad - more like delighted - to answer that question. Will they appreciate your sincere interest? You bet they will!

Again, that question will be the first indication that you are somebody special and different - a person worthy of doing business with, either directly or by way of referrals.

In the many years since the first edition of Endless Referrals was published, I've been contacted by so many who've told me that one question has transformed their business lives. They've seen the look of disbelief in their new friend's eyes, astounded that they've been asked such a question. And, from there, a very profitable relationship has begun.

I see two reasons why: One, you've given to this person the feeling and knowledge that by just by associating with you, their success is going to increase. That, of course, right there, makes you more "attractive" to that person, who then feels a vested personal interest in cultivating an association with you, which includes giving back to you.

Secondly, though, and more importantly is that it causes you to think of ways you can help others, thus taking the focus off of yourself. As Stuart Wilde wrote in his book, The Trick To Money Is Having Some, "The secret to success is to subjugate your ego and serve others."

Remember, "In a free-enterprise based economy, the amount of money you make is directly proportional to the number of people you serve." Often, before you serve them - or their referrals - directly through your products or services, you'll serve them through other sources, such as the referrals you give to them.

By the way, if they are not in a job classification in which they have "prospects", per se, the "One *Key* Question" might be, "How can I know if someone I'm speaking with is someone you'd like to meet?"

Such good stuff. See why I call him a Rock Star?

More of my interview with Bob tomorrow.

Digg it | del.icio.us | Add to Technorati

Bob Burg is a networking Rock Star. After all, his book Endless Referrals, a well known text on the subject, has just come out in it's third edition. (Disclosure - I wrote a small piece that is included in the book - about blogs and networking.)

Bob also happens to be a friend of mine, and we were first connected through the second edition of this book. I've asked Bob to join me here on the blog of or a couple of days. Here is the first part of our interview. . .

Ok, I've called you a networking Rock Star, but isn't Networking a word which can be interpreted many different ways . . . and not all of them good?

Absolutely. In my opinion, far too many people still hold to the antiquated and preconceived notion of "Networking" as the stereotypical, slick, fast-talking salesperson who sticks a business card into the hand of every person they meet, blabbing on and on about themselves and their business and saying really clever things like, "Hey, let's do lunch" and "Have your people all my people." Obviously, that's not Networking. Instead, that's . . . well, actually, I'm not exactly sure what it is, but it's certainly not Networking.

My definition of Networking is simply, "The cultivating of mutually beneficial, give and take, win/win relationships." And the emphasis is on the "give" part. When done with genuine caring about the other person; their wants, their needs, their desires, and when following a specific system, a proven method of operation, it will result in a huge and dramatic increase in your referral-based business.

So, what is this so-called "Golden Rule of Networking" and why is it so important?

All things being equal, people will do business with, and refer business to, those people they know, like and trust.

Actually, that saying has been around for a long time. I certainly didn't make it up. But I encourage people to study that one sentence and consider all the implications involved. Read it again and again until the principle involved is totally internalized. I mean, think about it; as salespeople, our goal should be to develop and cultivate relationships with new people to the point that they feel so good about us; they know us, they like us and they trust us; the want to see us succeed, they want to help us find new business, and they want to be part of our lives.

My opinion is that any who approaches every new potential Networking relationship keeping in mind the "Golden Rule of Networking" will, in and of itself, be nine steps ahead in the game, in a ten-step game.

You speak about following a very specific system for Networking and Endless Referrals. What do you mean?

Well, let's start off with my definition of the word, "System." I define it as, "The process of predictably achieving a goal, based on a logical and specific set of how-to principles." The key word is predictable. In other words, if it's been proven and documented that by doing 'A' (the system) you can accomplish 'B' (the results you want), then all one need be willing to do is 'A' and they know that they can have their desired results. Predictability is the key, just like a McDonald's Restaurant. You don't go in their and try and change their system. You follow it, and you succeed. That doesn't mean you become brain-dead and stop innovating; it simply means that you based your actions of proven fundamentals that work.

I love how Michael Gerber, author of the classic bestseller, The E-Myth describes the benefits of using a system. He says (paraphrased) "Systems permit ordinary people to achieve extraordinary results, predictably."


More tomorrow.

Digg it | del.icio.us | Add to Technorati

In the coming days, my good friend Bob Burg, author, speaker and networker extrainarie will be featured on this blog as I interview him over a few days. If you haven't heard of Bob, or in particular the latest edition of his new book Endless Referrals, check out this excerpt at Entreprenuers.About.com.

It will be a good primer for next week and give you plenty to think about.

Digg it | del.icio.us | Add to Technorati

If you read this blog you know that I have a new book out, called Vantagepoints on Learning and Life.

And since my favorite gift to give (and receive) is a book, we've put together a very cool bundle of gifts that you can give when you give a copy of Vantagepoints. (or, even if you buy one for yourself!)

Take a look at your gift giving list, then take a look at all you can give those people, just for the price of one personalized and signed book.

Make your purchase HERE.

I want to thank my colleagues who contributed to this amazing bundle:

David DeFord
Jim Donovan
Dr. Tim Ong
Lynn Pierce
Remez Sasson

Also posted in Learning.

Digg it | del.icio.us | Add to Technorati

How Brilliant are you?

I have a great new book on my credenza that helps you think about this very question. The book, Personal Brilliance, by Jim Canterucci is being formally introduced to the world today with an amazing promotion. When you buy the book today, you will receive a huge number of other great personal development products too. (Disclosure, including a six month membership to my Powerquotes Plus service - a $30 value.)

While I have just started it, I love the book - and you will love the bonuses. Check it out today at:

http://www.MyPersonalBrilliance.com/bonus

Also posted in Leadership, Learning and Training.

Digg it | del.icio.us | Add to Technorati

A week ago I posted a link to a CNN interview that discussed whether Self Help is valuable or a sham. Since then I received a comment to that post that reads:

"I am curious to hear your thoughts about this since you just published Vantagepoints which is somewhat of a self-help book. Eager to hear your opinion."

Since a reader asks, I feel compelled to answer...

Steve Salerno (the gentleman speaking against the self help industry in the previous post), from what I can tell, isn't against self help so much as against an industry that tends to create devoted fans of a particular author or speaker. From his cynical perspective this means that people who benefit from or enjoy a particular author tend to become overly dependent on the words and opinions of their gurus... and aren't helping themselves at all.

As an author and speaker I can tell you that it is nice to have fans. It is good for business to have people to want to buy your next book or product.

Are there people who hold up a particular speaker or author on a pedestal, attending everything, and buying everything that person produces, like a teenage girl would do for her favorite musical group? Yes there are. Do some of those people read and listen and attend and never do anything with what they have learned? I'm sure there are.

But these people are in the minority.

And yes, there are many people - perhaps a majority - who read a book (on any topic, not just self help) that read and never take action.

It isn't the fault of the author or the advice if people don't take action - because the choice to take action is outside of the author or speaker's sphere of influence.

So to the question in the comment... what do I think about self help? I'm all for it! But what I am really for is people finding resources to help them take action - with better ideas, better information and new perspectives.

It is the job of the book or audio or seminar to provide us with knowledge. But it is our responsibility as consumers of these materials to transfer the knowledge into action. This transference of learning from knowing to doing is where the real juice is.

Can I (and my many colleagues) have a greater impact than we do currently? We can to the degree that we can encourage, persuade, influence and cajole our readers, listeners and participants to take action on what they have learned.

This is the goal of my new book and of our workshops and consulting engagements. And that goal leads us to do more than just present or share solid information. It requires a more complete set of techniques, tools and approaches, but that is a different post.

The bottom line for me is that self help isn't really self help at all. We all need tools, ideas, knowledge, support and so much more - the things the so called "self help" industry provides. That is really the "help" part. The "self" comes after consuming the materials - it comes when we take action.


Also posted in Learning and Training.

Digg it | del.icio.us | Add to Technorati

Next Monday December 5, from 2-3 pm ET, I'll be Patricia Raskin's guest on her radio show, Positive Living. I'll be talking about life long learning, how to learn from everyday situations and discussing my new book, Vantagepoints on Learning and Life.

You can listen from anywhere as long as you have your computer. You can even call in to participate, which I would love. Just go to VoiceAmerica.com or go to Patricia's site to learn more.

Also posted in Learning and Training.

Digg it | del.icio.us | Add to Technorati