Kevin's Answers
You asked:
"Kevin, I have one person who is always argumentative in team meetings. How do I address this behavior without alienating the person?"
Kevin’s Answer:
This is a good question! I’ll answer this question assuming you are the facilitator of this team meeting. The first question I would ask you is, does everyone see this person as argumentative? Sometimes our perception is different than everyone else’s! If you are the only one who sees their approach as argumentative, then the issue is yours more than it is theirs. However, if others also view the behavior as argumentative, then you can move forward.
I always start with the lowest level intervention that I can. Be gentle and focus on behaviors not people. Think about it … If I’m argumentative, I am more likely to respond when I know how my behavior is affecting others, than if I’m attacked and accused of being argumentative.
Starting with the guiding principles I just shared, here are some things you could try:
- Try for closure, then redirect the conversation to another team member, by saying something like, “Kevin, I think everyone has heard your perspective. Can you summarize your concerns for us? What are your thoughts Parker?”
- Use an Issue Bin. Set up an issue bin before the meeting begins to capture items, ideas and concerns that need to be kept and dealt with, but aren’t in the context for a given discussion. Often the argumentative item can be placed in the issue bin to be reviewed at the end of the meeting or other appropriate time.
- Talk to the person alone before the next meeting. Ask them if there is anything they think you could do to facilitate the meetings more effectively, then share some feedback with them. Give the feedback based entirely on your observations. “sometimes when you are sharing your opinion, <share observations of what people in the room are doing at this point that gives you the concern – they shut down, act very uncomfortable, etc.>. This causes me concern because I feel it keeps the team from <describe whatever the concern is>
These approaches will work. They will work best when you:
- Focus on behaviors.
- Keep the issue clear and not personal.
- Do everything you can to help the person maintain their dignity.
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