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Unleashing Your Remarkable Potential
Issue 3.13 - March 27, 2006 - ISSN: 1551-6571

In Kevin's Own Words

Creating Greater Success Through Reflection

If I could give you a tool or resource that would change your life in positive ways, change your results, create more happiness in your life and help you get better at anything you desired . . . And if I could promise you that this tool would cost you nothing, require only yourself and could be used at any time . . .

Would you be interested?

I’ll bet you would.

Now at the risk of sounding a little bit like a carnival barker or used car salesperson what I just told you isn’t hype – there is such a tool. And you already possess it.

The tool is reflection.

I'm sure that you know people that have been on a job for 10 years and have continued to get better and better at their work and you probably also know people who have been on a job for ten years, but it is like they have one year of experience, ten times. In other words, they never really reflected on their work and results and so nothing seems to get better. They don't seem to learn from their past experiences.

Check Your Inbox!

Tomorrow morning you will receive email telling all about over 45 amazing reasons to buy a copy of Vantagepoints on Learning and Life right away. Make sure to open and read it – you’ll be glad you did!

Which of these people would you hire? Which of these people do you want on your team?

But I’m Too Busy

The number one reason I hear for people not reflecting is that they are too busy. They are too busy moving from task to task, from project to project, and event to event. When they recount this challenge to me they end by asking, “When would I have time to reflect?”

Our lives are much different than were the lives our grandparents. 75 or 100 years ago in the evening people would gather around a table or sit on the front porch and sip iced tea and visit about their day. What they were doing was relaxing and, while not in a very structured way, they were reflecting on their day.

We all know that this type of reflection works because as one of the things we ask our children when they come home from school is “How was your day?”

We say we are too busy – that the reason we don't reflect is that we don’t have porch time. Somehow we do find television time – and while there is nothing wrong with television - it doesn’t allow us the space, time or opportunity to reflect as we sit watching it.

Other Reasons

Time is typically our excuse, but it isn’t the only reason we don’t reflect. We also don’t reflect because:

• We don't think about it.
• We don't realize the importance of it.
• We don’t value it.
• We don’t think we know how to do it.

Hopefully reading this helps you get past the first reasons. Let me deal now with the last one – the issue of skill.

Examples

We all know how to reflect, consider . . .

Sitting around a table with friends playing a card game. In between hands, people are talking about what they could have done, should've done, might've done – all of this conversation is simple reflection. And while some people playing the game don't like to “overanalyze it,” spending that time in conversation about what just happened will make us better card players in the future.

Or for those in a different generation, the reflection is the time they take between two rounds in a video game as they quickly think about what happened and how they do it differently the next time.

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Golfers quickly analyze their swing as they watch the trajectory of their shots, thinking about what worked and what they might adjust.

And we do it at work, thinking about how the meeting or presentation went as we leave and move to the next item on our calendar.

So we know how, and we even do it sometimes, but how can we use this skill more successfully more often?

How to Reflect More Effectively

Make time. Reflection is about having time. We all have the time, regardless of how busy are schedules are. Reflect in the shower. Reflect on the drive to work (turn off your radio or your iPod and think). Reflect in the moments before you go to sleep. Reflect with your family as you eat a meal. Turn off the television. There is time – we just have to carve it out.

Ask questions. Reflection is about thinking and questions help our brains think. Consider using his list of questions as your “starter set” of reflective questions – the questions to help you think about what happened and what you can learn.

• What worked? Why?
• What didn't work? Why?
• What does this situation remind you of?
• How can I use this experience?
• How does this experience relate to other situations I’ve been in? What can I learn for that situation?
• Knowing what I know now, what would I do differently next time?

Think more broadly. Don’t just apply your thinking to how you would do this exact same task or respond in this exact same situation the next time. Our lives are too complex for that! Think about what you can take from this experience and apply to other related or perhaps even unrelated situations. Look for generalizations, patterns, tendencies and underlying principles. When we think more broadly we make our reflection time infinitely more beneficial to our lives.

This is some of my reflection on reflection. As we practice this skill we will get better at it and our results will begin to improve dramatically. Make the time. Ask the questions. And by all means apply what you learned. When you do this, you will make your life experiences your most precious source of learning, and your most fertile ground for your own success.

Kevin's Recommends

Persuasion – The Art of Getting What You Want
by Dave Lakhani

If we want to be more effective in almost any area of our lives – whether as a leader, team mate, coach, marketer, or parent, being more persuasive can help us be more successful. For this reason I have become a student of persuasion and influence in the past few years.

This book is one of my new favorites in this topic area.

It talks about persuasion not from a theoretical perspective but from a real-life, “here’s what you can do” perspective. There are three chapters in particular that lead me to recommend this book so strongly.

1. The first two chapters contrast manipulation from persuasion are very insightful and helpful to you as you consider the motives and intentions that you might have in a persuading situation. In my experience many people feel that if they work on becoming more persuasive in any sort of systematic way, that they will become manipulative. These two chapters will help you think that distinction through for yourself.
2. The chapter on the persuasion formula. By the time you get to this chapter none of the components of his formula will surprise you, but a formula is always helpful way to summarize things in our head (no, I’m not going to tell you what it is).

If you are drawn at all to the topic of persuasion, I highly recommend reading this book. It is well written, easy to read, and my copy already has marks and comments throughout – a good sign that it will be well used part of my library for a long time to come.

Learn more and buy at Amazon.com.

About The Kevin Eikenberry Group

We help organizations, teams and individuals reach their potential through a variety of products and services including: - Consulting / Coaching - Speaking - Training - Products to support the development of your potential. To learn more click on the links above or call 888.LEARNER or 317.387.1424.

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