Unleashing Your Remarkable Potential
Issue 6.30 - July 27, 2009 ISSN: 15516571

In Kevin's Own Words

Unlocking the Biggest Communication Challenge:
Getting Your Messages Heard

If you are breathing, you are communicating.

And you communicate in every role you play - friend, colleague, parent, spouse, coworker, leader, you name it. Since we communicate all the time, you'd think we'd all be pretty good at it, yet sadly that isn't the case.

We can - and we must - get better at it.

Let me prove it with one question.

When was the last time you said, or thought, "I already said that, weren't they listening?"

I'm guessing your answer is less than 24 hours ago, and certainly not more than a few days.

The harsh reality is that just because we say something, doesn't mean our message is heard (or acted on). Depending on the situation and the role in which that happens, this could cause anything from an inconvenience or frustration to a huge issue and everything in between.

And while we can't make the other person hear us, we can do much to improve our communication skills and approaches. We can take command of what is in our control. The four factors that follow are in your control. You can refine your communication with any or all of them to be more consistently effective.

Amplitude

Of course what you say must be spoken loud enough to be heard, but this goes far beyond that. We want to use our amplitude to be noticed. Maybe you need to speak louder, but maybe you could whisper. And often we communicate best with our actions. Like the song says - "you say it best, when you say nothing at all."

Once, many years ago as a trainer, I practiced making a particular point by raising my voice to get people's attention. It worked, but I received feedback that, in that instance, it seemed out of character for me and wasn't as effective as it could be. My response? I changed my approach to almost whispering the key message. The result? Much more impact.

Amplitude matters.

Media

This area gets a lot of play today with new technologies for communicating emerging seemingly every day. Of course you should think creatively about how you can use Twitter, Facebook, Web videos, podcasts and the like (and the "old-news" stuff like email, voice mail and PowerPoint). But don't forget about a whiteboard or flipchart, the bulletin board, a post it, face to face conversations, effective meetings, and just asking great questions.

The number of media options is large, and therefore offers us many opportunities - from whatever role and to whatever audience we are communicating. Rather than getting overwhelmed, keep trying new things while remembering the old ones, and realize that the best answer is seldom only one medium.

Amplitude and Media should be flexible, tested and evolving. You will benefit by trying different things, mixing up your amplitude and media, and constantly looking for a fresh way to get people's attention. Remember, without their attention we have no shot at effective communication.

Frequency

For a communication to be heard and remembered, you will likely have to say it more than once. Why? There is lots of noise and distractions in our lives. There is lots of competition for our ideas. And, as you've probably heard before, "repetition is the mother of learning."

Ad agencies sell companies on this idea. Research says that we must hear a message 10 or more times before we really have it in our memory. Regardless of the source of the advice, the fact is clear. If you want to be an effective communicator, you must be willing to share your points over and over.

Once is seldom (if ever) enough.

Message

Want your message to be heard and remembered? Then make the message memorable. Think slogans (Just Do It) and alliteration ("Perfect practice makes perfect."). Think metaphor and analogy (how is your point or situation like something else that is unrelated?). Think acronym (like you will soon find in this article) or acrostic (where the first letters of the message spell out a real word).

These devices provide a shorthand for and a touchstone to your message. They work because they take into account how our brains work. They will work best when you put the memorable message in the larger context or meaning (so the slogan or acronym isn't discounted). But even with the risks of discounting or worry about dumbing down a message, these devices are important, when used as a part of your overall communication strategy.

Frequency and Message should be consistent. Through amplitude and media you are heard, now you want your message remembered, whether through pure repetition (frequency) or a particularly memorable way of getting our message across.

Amplitude, Media, Frequency, and Message - notice that they create the acronym AM / FM, an apt reminder of how you can "tune" your communication skills just like you tunes in your favorite radio station.

While I have shared examples from a leadership perspective, these four tools apply to all of your communication, from leading to marketing to parenting to any other situation you choose.

Consider and use all four of these suggestions. Each will help. Taken together they will greatly improve your effectiveness and your ability to be heard and influential with others.

Potential Pointer: Communicating isn't enough; you must be heard. Rather than lamenting the lack of listening by others, remarkable leaders (and human beings) take responsibility for communicating more powerfully and more effectively.

Comments

Kevin's Recommends

Hip and Sage: Staying Smart, Cool and Competitive in the Workplace
by Lisa Haneberg

This is probably the first "career book" I've recommended. So why, after all the career books I've read, seen and been given over the years, do I recommend this one? Three reasons: because it's written by the very hip and sage Lisa Haneberg (whose books and blog I have recommended before), because it's MORE than a career book and, well, because Lisa told me I am an example of Hip and Sage (I'd settle for one of the two - either one!).

Lisa's point is that folks in the Baby Boomer generation may have the sage part, but might be lacking in the hip category, and she, born at the end of the boomer generation, wants to help.

The book starts with sage and shares some useful thoughts and a model for thinking about the components of "sageness," but the bulk of the book is about hipness. Really, it covers types of technology: defining and exploring some major types, how to use them and more.

Because Lisa is a personal example of diving in and learning and of very effectively using these technologies, she speaks in a sage and believable way about them. Consider this a good primer for you.

With the rapid change in technology and the web, this book will become outdated far too quick. This is one of my few problems with the book, but it isn't really a problem if you read it now! And, because Lisa is smart, she is maintaining a Hip and Sage blog to freshen the ideas and the technologies.

The book opens with a great story about singers Tony Bennett and k.d. lang - a story whose provocative lessons make it worth buying the book in itself.

If you are a Boomer or older Gen Xer who would like to be a bit hipper at work (or with your kids), Lisa's wisdom condensed in this book would be a great place for you to start - not because of the technologies themselves, but because she puts them into context and makes them more relevant to you.

Learn More and Purchase from Amazon - Comments

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