Email this page to a Colleague

Unleashing Your Remarkable Potential
Issue 1.10 - October 6th, 2004 - ISSN: 1551-6571

In Kevin's Own Words

Networking Events - Lose the Fear and Gain the Benefits

"Kevin, are you saying I need to go to Networking events? I hope not because I hate them."

No, of course you don’t have to go to them. You could stay home or sit in your office. But if you choose to not go, you won’t have the chance to learn something, to help others, to get new ideas, maybe generate some new Clients, and yes, meet new people.

"But Kevin, I don’t do well at these events, I am too self conscious and besides, you know I am shy."

It is true, some people aren’t as outgoing as others, but I highly doubt that anyone reading this is a hermit. We all like to be around people. As for the self conscious part, well, that is what the rest of this article is about. Read on.

I hear all sorts of excuses for not going to networking events:

"I already know all those people."
"I have other things to do anyway."
"Everyone there is in a clique – I won’t have anyone to talk to."
"I hate those things."
"I get scared."
"I don’t know what to wear."
""I don’t know what to say or talk about.'
< feel free to add your excuses here>

That’s right – they are excuses, or they are based on misinformation about what networking is or can be.

You will have the most fun and gain the most from networking opportunities when you stop worrying about yourself, what you are going to say and what you are going to wear. (Here’s a hint, no one really cares what you are wearing, as long as your clothes don’t stand out as too casual or too flashy – get dressed and get over it.)

Networking is about forming relationships and forming relationships works best when you remember Dale Carnegie’s admonition, "You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you."

Rephrased by Kevin for networking success – be interested, not interesting.

Once you understand that networking events are about meeting and learning about others and their interests and activities, rather than trying to perform (or remember our ever- important 30 second statement of what we do), many of the excuses above go away.

Be interested – ask questions about people’s business, how they got involved, what sets them apart, what they love about it. Ask about their perfect Client, their interests and their family. As you listen see what connections you can make for them to help them reach their goals.

By being interested we lessen the fear concerns. By being interested we become less self conscious. By being interested we form relationships.

Being interested means remaining interested and following up with people afterwards. If you promised to get them someone’s phone number, the name of that book you are reading, or introduce them to someone, do it right away. You will be seen as a person of your word, but you will reinforce your interest in the other person.

While it may sound paradoxical, by being interested in others, they become more interested in our success and us as well. You will have created a double win – you will gain from the networking experience as much or more than you gave, all because you gave first.

It all starts with being interested. Invest in your success by investing first in others. Try it soon – go to that networking event or cocktail party or social mixer on your calendar. Try my simple rule as a test, even if you aren’t completely convinced yet.

I’ll be interested to hear your results.

Yours in Learning,

Kevin

p.s. If you have a success story to about of being interested vs. interesting, send it to Kevin at: Kevin@KevinEikenberry.com and receive a list of creative networking ideas collected from a recent session I led.

You Ask...Kevin Answers

As a peer there are some things you can do. First, praise them when they do handle a Customer well. Let them know you appreciate it, but more importantly, give them feedback from the Customer’s perspective. For example, if the Customer left with a big smile, mention that.

See if you can find patterns in their behavior. Are they better at the beginning of the day, and poorer later, or vice versa? Do they seem to become less Customer friendly after a specific negative interaction? Use these clues to help you help them.

In general conversation you might also be able to get them to talk about Customer Service they receive. Always talk about stories of great Customer Service you receive and what you learned from it in solving your Customer’s needs.

My biggest advice is to be encouraging and chip away at these habits one day at a time. Who knows, eventually your co-worker might become a Customer Service Star. Either way, your ongoing project to help them, will make you even more skilled at Wowing your Customers – making it worth your effort!

If you have question you want Kevin to answer in a future issue, email us.

Kevin Recommends

How Full is Your Bucket? by Tom Rath and Donald O. Clifton

I’ve long been a proponent of positive reinforcement as a powerful factor in helping people improve. It has always felt like the right thing to do. This slim new book is packed with the facts, stories, and research to prove my intuition and beliefs. Written by one of the co-authors of the best seller, Now, Discover Your Strengths, this book is well worth the read.

You will read this book in less than a couple of hours, but be thinking about it for a long time. You will find ways to apply the lessons immediately in all phases of your life. Additionally you get links to a couple of great companion web sites, including a code to take a pretty powerful self assessment.

Overall, I recommend this book highly. Not only that, but I understand Oprah recommends it this month in O Magazine. With two recommendations like that, how can you go wrong?

You can order a copy at Amazon.com HERE.

Another Perspective

The Three Foot Rule and Abundance
By Dennis Gaudet

“First time strangers; second time friends” (Chinese proverb)

A basic business networking principle is that anyone within three feet of you is a potential candidate for conversation. For the next two or three days try to visualize this radius around you and observe how many people enter this area.This image is powerful not just for business professionals doing networking, but for anyone attempting to create or re-create a better social community of friends, or wanting to meet that special someone. Suddenly we realize there is an abundance of people within our radius. Elevators, check out lines, subways, restaurants, and fast food lines are all opportunities to meet new people.

Now, you may feel a little anxiety over this concept. After all, we have been ingrained with the “Don’t talk to strangers” message since childhood. And yes, there are some individuals who cross our path for whom it may be prudent not to engage in conversation. There is always a need to be cautious and use appropriate judgment before we engage in conversation. However, most of us carry this to extremes, ending up isolating ourselves from our neighbors. Recent census numbers indicate most Americans live alone and therefore can actually go though an entire day without one adult conversation.

So how do we start? First, admit that if you are not comfortable with speaking to people within your three-foot radius, you might find it awkward at first. Like any skill, the more it is practiced the more effortless it becomes over time.

Second, remember all you are doing is saying hello or making a simple statement that leads to conversation. Do not force people to talk to you (they are just as scared as you); but speak in a way that is friendly and provide the opportunity for conversation.

Third, be ready for nothing to happen or for a wonderful surprise. There may be a blank stare or the person may move away from your radius. Both are fine since you are only offering the OPPORTUNITY, which they are free to pass on as you are. But also be ready for the pleasure and fun that arise from a simple hello and conversation with people around you.

MY CHALLENGE TO YOU: I want to make a request that you observe the people who come into your radius and with prudent discernment engagement say “hello” to at least one new person each day for the next five days. Trust your instinct and be prepared for surprises.

Dennis Gaudet is known as a life designer. You can be part of the process of designing your life by contacting him today at dennis@livesbydesign.com or 617.448.0005 for a free, no obligation complimentary coaching session. To learn more about Lives by Design visit him at http://www.abundantcoaching.bigstep.com/homepage.html.

If you find this information valuable, please pass it on to a friend. You can forward them the email or go to http://www.kevineikenberry.com/uypw/tell.asp to use our Tell A Friend tool.

If you received a forwarded copy of this newsletter and would like to subscribe for yourself, go to: http://www.kevineikenberry.com/uypw/subscribe.asp.

Unleashing Your Remarkable Potential is sent to anyone who requests it, but we don’t want to force it on anyone!

To unsubscribe, go to: http://www.kevineikenberry.com/uypw/manage.asp.

Have some feedback, comments or a success story for Kevin? Send him an email to: Kevin@KevinEikenberry.com.

Want to send Kevin a question for a future issue? Go to: http://kevineikenberry.com/uypw/your_questions.asp.

For information on reprinting any of this information included in this issue of Unleashing Your Remarkable Potential, go to: http://kevineikenberry.com/speaking/reprints.asp

© 2004 The Kevin Eikenberry Group – All Rights Reserved

The Kevin Eikenberry Group
http://www.kevineikenberry.com

7035 Bluffridge Way
Indianapolis, IN 46278
317-387-1424